Willingness is the Key

Willingness. . . to change

What does this entail?

It may not be as simple as one thinks.

Lately, I have been most critical of others and their personal progress, instead of focusing my thoughts on what I can do to obtain my own goals.  Most times, I don’t even realize that I am being critical.  It usually comes in the form of wanting to help, so much so that it comes to a primary focus in my life.  Then, it appears as control. . . I WANT IT DONE MY WAY!!

We all have our breaking point which requires such willingness for change, and some people, sadly, never get there.  I need not to focus my thoughts on what others are doing, but on what I am wanting to change in myself.  Each time I set an expectation of others’ actions, it sets up a barrier between them and me.  No one likes to be told what to do, nobody likes to be told that what they are doing is harmful to their body or state of mind, and no one likes to be told that what they are doing is “wrong”.  Yet, if it is meant for them to change, they will be able to get there on their own path.   My job is to be an example for those who want such change.

What am I willing to change?

I am grateful for the changes that I have made over the last couple of years but there are still many changes that I would like to lean towards.    I haven’t quite had enough pain to create the changes required to meet my goal.  Why does emotional or physical pain seem to be the greatest motivator for such willingness to change?   It doesn’t have to be this way; however, most changes occur in my life with a little push from achy joints or a broken heart.

On the flip-side of this, some of my dramatic changes have occurred in gradual steps.  An example of this would be my change from supermarket shopping to farmers markets.  The change first started with the willingness to try something new.  I had no idea what I was doing, what to look for, and where to go.  It then grew to my willingness to include farmer market shopping in my weekly schedule.  Today, I have gathered the courage to ask questions about how the food is grown to increase my knowledge of agriculture and organic farming.

This willingness for change can foster my entire need for emotional growth as well.  Am I willing to change my attitudes, perceptions and/or behavior towards people close to me? Am I willing to open my heart to a new relationship, breaking down all walls to let that person see the true me? Am I willing to focus on how I can help my family members and friends instead of letting them know what I think is best for them?  I would love to change my actions overnight; however, sometimes, I don’t see that a change needs to be met until someone gets hurt. And sometimes that person is me.

Willingness is an action word.  It requires me to look at myself and be honest with what it is that I am thinking or doing – a humbling experience, is what most would call it.  It’s harder for me to acknowledge the positive goals that I have carried out most days; yet when I make mistakes, I tend to look at my actions with self criticism, wrapped up with guilt and shame.  A balancing act is needed to look at the whole picture, yet surprisingly, growth has occurred even if I don’t see it at that time.  If I can accept this, I will be much better knowing that it took a little bit of action and honesty to get this started.

Are you willing to go to any length to change?

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2 thoughts on “Willingness is the Key

  1. Just the other day I came across something a friend said – “Pain is an under-appreciated motivator.” What I do over and over again is try to avoid pain and in doing so I harm myself more. Not just pain either – I don’t like any sort of discomfort at all! I’ll eat that ice cream to get rid of the craving and then feel sick and in pain afterwards or I’ll ignore addressing a situation until it becomes overwhelming to me. Eventually, the pain of my actions will motivate me to change my behavior and then maybe I’ll appreciate the pain and be willing to make the necessary changes~

    • I like the way you put that! thank you. the more we avoid the pain, the worse it gets. When will we learn? well, I guess knowing that makes it easier the next time, so perhaps that’s the lesson 🙂

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