Oooh, I feel so out of touch lately.
Where is my place in this world? What have I been doing? Why haven’t I written anything about my journey? Does anyone really care?
I should be writing more inspirational stories, right?
No one wants to hear what I am going through emotionally, right?
No one likes to hear from a downer!
Negativity is contagious, it brings others down. . .
But this is my experience!
Oh, yes! I forgot!
I’m starting my new search in finding my permanent residence. The country cottage in the city. The hardwood floors. Herbs growing along the kitchen window sill. Most importantly, the back yard with flowered bushes along the side of the fence, fruit trees scattered about, and enough space for me to experiment with gardening. My dogs will dance along the grassy path that leads to the creek. Oh, and let’s not forget that handsome gardener who will help me with all the trimming and mowing.
I am seriously thinking of switching careers. For those who know me, and know how long I have suffered with my current situation, I am truly serious this time. I have hit a bottom in my workplace never felt before. I decided to put in an effort to see what else is out there for me. My days of dreaming to win the lottery – that I never play – is long gone. I must create a resume and contemplate my new strategy. . . tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. . . still thinking. . . still contemplating . . .
Conclusively, I got back on a dating website. Not sure why. My original thought a couple of months ago was to ditch the dating scene until I got my life in order.
An overhauling is needed – men will just get in the way.
OR, it is my obsessive thinking of men that will get in the way.
Back to the website, I cringe every time I get on. If I am to find my soul mate, I don’t see it happening here. I cannot even describe what it is like skimming over the candidates, so I will bring you to here: Sex and the Sixty
Even though I am not yet 60, I can so relate to this blog description. And yet I feel that perhaps my awful attitude at this period of time will bring about a different result than the last time I played the dating game. I will be pickier about my choices.
Well, perhaps the result will be the same, I will just have fewer dates before I decide to ditch the idea altogether.
So I guess I can’t say that I haven’t been doing anything, but it sure feels that way. Is this depression I feel, or is it an emotional growth of finding my destiny? For once, I feel at peace with myself; however, this may have turned so far in the opposite direction of what I normally feel that it causes an imbalance.
Perhaps I need to get used to this peaceful state, most importantly to comprehend it as