I have been in a funk lately. Not sure if it is the winter weather, new move, or some other sort of mourning that has taken place inside of me. Perhaps I am struggling with whatever direction I should be taking. What’s my next step in life?
Kept waiting for the feeling to pass. Learning to accept my feelings has been a new concept for me. Instead of saying “I’m fine” to every “how are you?”, I have been trying to understand what it is I am feeling and voice it. Although, when I am unsure of what my emotions are, this makes it a little difficult. Thus, the funk!
Went to a new spiritual healer, and although I had alternative reasons for inquiring about this new healing method, I found myself in a deeper funk when I was done. This is all part of the process. Comparable to getting a massage, I should have drank more water the days following. All the toxins in my body, including the emotional ones, began surfacing. So, I acknowledged it as a good healing for and despite this reason.
I was withdrawn. I took two days off work to get some sleep (felt like I was coming down with the flu). And I could not figure out what I was feeling and why.
As far as my diet was concerned, I was eating foods that did not contain gluten, milk, eggs or soy. So I questioned again why I was feeling the way I was feeling, whatever feeling that may be. I had not been this depressed & tired since the time I was eating processed foods contaminated with said ingredients. However, was I eating healthy?
I remembered something I had read recently about Vitamin D deficiency with gluten sensitives. Keep in mind, I had been feeling this way for a few weeks. I still believe that I tend to get more depressed during the winter, I have been through a lot of anxiety with the challenges of losing my home the last couple of years, and the spiritual healing did bring about more depression and funkiness that I had experienced since I moved.
But something else was happening to me since the healing. I was starving!! and now that I think back, I was NOT eating a variety of foods. Quinoa, a good source of protein, had exited my diet – because I didn’t want to bother with cooking it. Beets, which provide a great source of Iron and Magnesium, also became non-existent as I lagged on making it to the Farmer’s market each Sunday. What had I been eating? Potatoes, coffee, . . . seriously, I can’t even remember. I was in a fog. But I know I wasn’t eating any gluten. Just could have been eating non-nutritional foods to appease my appetite.
Thinking back over the vitamin D deficiency, I googled my research and found that this particular vitamin is hard to find. I hadn’t eaten much fish, so definitely wasn’t getting it from fish oil. I decided to soak in the sunshine during my lunch hour. At first I resisted. I would have to take off my jacket! I am from California and am blessed with warmer weather than most states, but, I am a cold weather sissy. Luckily for me, I noticed the sun was shining on the outdoor tables that I would eat my lunch at.
I took off my jacket, closed my eyes, pointed my head towards the sun, and basked for a good 15-20 minutes. This was a good time to meditate as well, ask God for my next thought or action, and direct my attention to others that I could be of help to that day. What a difference this made! I could feel myself coming out of my coma~and tried it again the next day.
I will ask my new kinesiologist whether he believes I am vitamin D deficient. It could be that my emotions just needed some time to heal. I don’t believe whatever my funk was came about under one specific reason. I do believe that our spiritual, emotional and physical health do intertwine and we do need to be mindful of all aspects.
Today I am back on my food journey. It seemed to have disappeared for a short time. I drove out to the farmer’s market on 8th & W St in Sacramento. I am beginning to ask more questions regarding pesticide free produce. My next trip today will be to the dog park with my lovable labs. Perhaps I will even take off my jacket as I stroll the area (brrrr!). Tonight I might cook up something new and creative.
Check back soon 🙂