Addicted to coffee

I don’t know what it is about coffee. I find myself in this mode of stopping at the corner coffee shop – whichever corner suits me that day – to satisfy an obsessive habit each morning, only to find out minutes later that I am surprisingly dissatisfied with my choice.

I am consumed with guilt for the decision I have made. I am dissatisfied, remorseful. Why do I continue on this habitual behaviour in the morning, hoping to gain a pleasing satisfaction – only to find myself feeling a huge sadness of discouragement later on?

And what is it about coffee? Its warm, aromatic. . . but seriously, it taste bad! I mean really awful!!

Once in a while I will find a smooth, strong cup that pleases me. But come on Starbucks, Peet’s, the drive thru java hut. . . your coffee is bitterly horrible!! I thought it was the milk or not the right Torani’s flavor, but now that I have nixed all of that extra glamour, I can truly see that the coffee that I consume has a bitter after taste which rubs my throat the wrong way.

I never liked flavored coffee. I wonder too often what is in the coffee to create such a flavor. And how do they put it in the bean? Do they soak it? Do they modify the bean somehow?

What happens to the bean between picking and the grocery shelf?

Over the Christmas holiday, I attended a party where everyone was AH-ing some special blend of coffee the host had brewed. I thought I would try it. I asked what it was and whether or not there was liquor in it. The lady of the house brought down the bag it came in and gave it to me. It looked fabulous! A ton of organic ingredients! not sure why there were so many ingredients, but I was pleased by the organic list. I poured a cup. . . took a sip. . . turned back to the ingredients. . . I had missed an ingredient. . . barley. Really? !!

Yes, its true – Barley in the coffee!! What’s that all about?

So now that really has me thinking about what is in the coffee. To save money I have been drinking the coffee at work. Again, not too pleased, but it is coffee. Something about that warm cup of joe in the morning. The habit of placing a hot cup in my hands as I prepare my desk for what’s to come across it. Must be awake! and coffee is my source! My office uses a Keurig machine. I am sure the flavored coffee that was in there prior to my cup is not a good idea for my allergies. I should be abstaining from any machine that may have had gluten in it. I don’t even know if my dark roast coffee is gluten free. I check the website and they verify they are gluten free, but they do have some coffees to watch out for. Hmmmmm. . .

Last week I noticed that my left leg was numb. I have had this feeling before, but it has intermittently come and gone. I thought I had gotten rid of it with my new diet but now it is back. What is it from? My hip feels out of joint. My kidneys hurt. I have knee joint pain. The numbness goes down my hip to my knee and back down my shin to my toes. For some reason, my left leg tenses up and goes into some weird contortion until i notice I need to release it. Could I give up caffeine long enough to see if it helps? It seems rational enough; however, each morning I am back on the coffee run.

Does anyone else have a reaction to coffee? or perhaps a certain brand?


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